Name : HENI OKTAVIANI
SRN : 1401120945
Red : Topic sentence
Black : Supporting sentence
Blue : Concluding Sentence
Mandau Dance
One of popular Dance in Central Kalimantan is Mandau dance. It very famous for Dayak traditional . Saber Dance is one of the
traditional Dayak dance art, which features attractions that use the Mandau andthan
Mandau dance name is taken from the property of the dance that is Mandau.
Mandau is a traditional weapon Dayak shaped chopping knife / sword. Saber Dance
aim to adorn the stage at the customs area, the welcoming ceremony, cultural
festivals and other - other. And incredibly, this dance is also often displayed
at the international cultural festival to represent the traditional ethnic
culture in Indonesia. Mandau Dance performances accompanied by the strains of a
melodious voice and stomping of Dayak traditional musical instruments namely
gandang and Gerantung. Gerantug is a musical instrument made of metal,
resembling the gamelan music of Java. according to folklore, music instrument
Gerantung once scaled directly from heavenly as a means of communication to the
ancestors. The strains of music accompaniment as one with the movement of the
dancers in the show so it looks attractive and stunning. conclusion saber dance is a dance typical of Central
Kalimantan were very popular from the beginning until now.
Dayak
: Dayak is one of the tribles in central kalimantan
Mandau
: . Mandau is a traditional weapon Dayak shaped chopping knife /
sword.
Heny, I think your paragraph is good. It is simple sentence with specifics information and definitions. But, I want to gives you some suggestions in your writing paragraph :)
BalasHapus1. Topic sentence is Correctly because the topic sentence already contained with controlling idea.
2. The supporting sentence there are not correct. Controlling the idea into a specific topic in the topic sentence. Supporting sentence of unrelated sentences.I think you should create a supporting sentence. Why Mandau dance famous in Central Borneo ?
3. Concluding sentence already concluded a topic sentence and it is sub topic so that it becomes a conclusion with different word is sufficiently.
4. Your paragraph is coherence.
1. I think your topic sentence correctly.
BalasHapus2. The supporting sentence is not coherence.
3. In oncluding sentence is concise is clearly
4. i think you should use signal word
i think your paragrah is good because you choose good topic, good definition and easy to understand your paragraph. in topic sentence very perfect, good and in concluding perfect and good, you don't have problem. but in supporting sentence you have problem because don't perfect, don't coherence and don't use transition signal. you should use transition signal. ok! don't forget edit your paragraph before publication. and i hope my comment make your writing be better than before heny. ok i think enough and im sorry if i have mistakes in my comment. good luck heny :)
BalasHapus